failed!

bismillah~

on my previous-previous post,

(don't really remember which)

i've said that there's something i'm planning to do,

and i'll tell u guys what is it when i've done it..

today is actually the day

i'm planning on doing it..

but UNFORTUNATELY,

i failed :(

actually,

i planned on calling my mom as early as i could today,

as today is my special day..

i wanted to told her

"thanks 4 bringing me to life,

bringing me into this world,

exactly 22 years ago"

but as soon as i called her,

she asked me how am i doing

have i took my breakfast..

just hearing her voice,

i suddenly felt that tears are going to fall..

(i'm not usually like this,

it's hard 4me to cry in front of my parents nowadays)

then, what make me cried

is when she said

"hari ni hari lahir duha kan,

so happy birthday,

sorry ummi and abah lupa nak ucap awal2,

kitorang penat baru balik dr perlis

(it's my brother's wedding)"

i just replied

"it's ok"

in my macho-trying to cover that i'm crying-voice

then, the conversation went on as usual,

but i kept quiet most of the time

(ok, this is not quite usual)

she did ask

"duha ok ke?

cam tak smangat je?"

"heh, ok je"

still trying to cover..

then i still cant say those word i've planned on saying

untill at last,

she said,

"ok, i love you"

i replied the same words

and hang up the phone..

then i cried silently..

i failed..

not because i'm ashamed to say those words..

but i dont want to say it with tears..

actually i planned on making my mom cried

(errr...crying in happiness ok)

but obviously,

i'm the on who's crying..

haiyaaaa~

then i texted her

"hehe ummi, actually duha call tadi,

nak ckp thanks sbb da lahirkan duha n besarkan duha selama ni,

i'm really grateful to hv u n abah as my parents..

love u sooo much!"

............................

MESSAGE SENT

............................

a few moments later,

she replied my sms

and told me she's crying too..

:)

and few minutes later,

all of my sibling sms me,

wishing happy birthday~

which i know,

it must be my mom who reminds them '-__-

haha..

few months ago,

my doctor ask me,

"pada ulang tahun kamu,

ucapan dari siapa yang paling kamu tunggu?

pasti mama sama papa kamu kan?"

i nodded, agreeing with what she said..

"pada jam 12 malam, kalau mereka belum mengucapkan,

apa yang kamu lakukan?"

"yah..mungkin kamu berfikir,

mama dan papa mungkin sudah tidur,

tunggu besok saja"

i nodded again..

"esok paginya, jam 7 pagi,

kamu mungkin masih bersabar..

jam 9 pagi, kamu mula merasa marah

kerana belum diucapin oleh mama sama papanya..

jam 10 atau 11 pagi,

air mata mulai mau mengalir.."

i laughed when she said that

(but actually i really do wait for my parents to wish me on my birthday)

then she continued

"udah melebihi jam 12 siang,

pasti kamu udah menangis,

kesal karena dilupakan hari ulang tahunnya..

betul kan?"

i smiled

and i nodded shyly..

maybe~

(but i wont cry, just sad i guess..huhu)

"cuba kamu pikir,

kira-kira 20 tahun yang lalu,

sewaktu mama kamu mau melahirkan kamu,

dia berjuang,

dengan kesakitan dan kesukaran

mau melahirkan kamu,

tapi dia ga pernah merasa putus asa,

hingga akhirnya,

pertama kali kamu keluar,

mendengar suara kamu menangis,

bisa menghilangkan semua kesakitan dan kepenatan mama kamu

sewaktu melahirkan tadi.."

"pada hari lahir kamu,

ibu kamu yang telah memperjuangkan nyawa beliau,

agar kamu bisa lahir ke dunia.."

"maka, pada hari ulang tahun kamu,

siapa yang sebenarnya harus ditelfon?

untuk diucapin terima kasih?"

"harusnya kamu yang menelfon dia di awal pagi,

terus bilang

"terima kasih ma, udah melahirkan saya,

udah bersusah berjuang

dan membesarkan saya"

bukan begitu?"

that is when,

i decided to call my mom early in the morning

on my birthday

to tell her "thanks"

i think it's really true that on our special day,

we hoped that people will remember it

especially people who are special to us,

but actually,

in order for us

to have this special day

there are people who deserve and ought to be thanked..

if its not for them

will u even be here today?

and even hv a special day to be celebrated?

i hope people who read this post,

can tell their parents

especially their mom

how thankful they are

towards their parents..

for giving them THIS DAY

and make them cry!

all the best!

:)